By Tracy Maxwell.
I have been thinking about the concept of healing a great deal lately because it is the WHY for what I do. My work is motivated by helping people heal whether it be from cancer, from the impacts of hazing or from outdated ways of thinking that no longer serve us. (Simon Sinek’s famous TED Talk discusses the importance of having a why for what you do – check it out if you haven’t seen it.)
Healing literally means “to make whole,” and when we are really honest with ourselves, we can see that we are already whole, complete and perfect. But as human beings – or spiritual beings in a human body – we almost never think that way about ourselves. We see ourselves as flawed, scared, not enough, broken, insignificant, damaged, or even bad. Or conversely, an overinflated ego could cause us to see ourselves as all-knowing, always right, the best, or the one everyone else should listen to. Brene Brown calls this the struggle between, on one side, not enough, and on the other, who do you think you are?
My experience tells me that most people fall into the former category though. We are whole, complete and perfect (which doesn’t mean infallible or always right, by the way), but we don’t see ourselves that way. That is why healing is necessary. Healing takes place in our mental and emotional realms. When we have damaging mental or emotional patterns that are always telling us something is wrong, that can cause physical distress.
Back problems and headaches are the most common, but high blood pressure, diabetes and even cancer can result from failing to uncover and heal these destructive patterns. You have probably heard illness described as dis-ease. When we don’t have ease in our mental and emotional states, this manifests physically. Rather than being some kind of punishment, this is our body’s way of getting our attention and making sure we focus on healing. Wow! How cool to see illness as a blessing in this way.
You can think about this with something as simple as the common cold, which Louise Hay in her book You Can Heal Your Life, relates to having too much going on at once. So what do we do when we get a cold? We can either take a bunch of cold medicine and push through (because sometimes we have to do that) to keep doing all those things, or we can take it easy, be gentle with ourselves and give our body what it needs to heal – not just decongestant or chicken soup, but down time, rest and a mental break.
I have been looking for and looking at the patterns in my own life that have led to my having had cancer three times, and I’ve found so much to heal. Because of that, I am grateful to have had cancer because my life is so much better now than it used to be, and as I heal, I find the confidence to share what I’ve learned with others through speaking, coaching, leading healing trips and writing a book. Being Single With Cancer will be released in late August and can be pre-ordered now on Amazon.
Two of the biggest patterns that I have healed as a result of cancer were related. First, I felt alone. As a single woman, I had it that something was wrong with me because I didn’t have a partner, and with my family living far away and not much of a spiritual connection at the time, alone was my context for life. As a strong, independent woman, I also had an “I can do it myself” attitude. If you are alone, you have to do it yourself, right? And further, I attributed my value to being of service to others. Put all of those together, and you have someone who felt alone, felt valued only for what she gave, and wasn’t dare going to be a burden on anyone else.
Thank goodness I got cancer so I could heal those patterns, allow others to contribute to me, learn how to ask for and gratefully receive help in my life, see the value in allowing myself to be vulnerable and see my own worth. I now know that I am worthy and valuable just because of who I am, and as I value myself and what I’ve learned more, I can share it in healthier ways that support me. Before, I was sacrificing myself for the well-being of others, and that way just wasn’t going to work anymore.
As I began to see how not alone I was and value the love of my friends, family, fellow cancer survivors and so many others in my life, I began to really see how we are ALL connected. People need people, and giving and receiving is a circle. If we give without receiving, we eventually burn out and break down like I did and then we’re no good to anyone else or even ourselves. If we take all the time, we don’t feel very good about ourselves or valuable to the world, and that causes problems too. That is why it’s important for the cycle to continue to flow, and for all of us to give and receive freely.
When I connected to others and allowed myself to receive, I could receive guidance, love, and support from source more freely as well. I began to trust that I was being taken care of and led, and my own identity changed from “alone” to so connected and so, so loved.
If this concept of healing appeals to you, and you want to learn more, you can visit my website and reach me at http://www.iamtracymaxwell.com/.
