By Deborah Fox The first Christmas after my sister Wendi died, I was dreading a really sad time. I remembered so many years of making brunch together and having a crazy, loud, happy time.
Then, as that first holiday got closer, I made up my mind: I wasn’t going to sit around and grieve.
With the help of a friend, I connected with a local breast cancer organization because that is what Wendi died from. I asked if they had anyone with breast cancer who would let me cook brunch and bring it to their house. I didn’t want any money or help – I just wanted to bring the meal to her and her family to honor my sister.
They gave me the name of a lovely gal named Patty and her fiancé Tony (not their real names), who would love to have me over on Christmas morning. Their kids were grown and out of the house, so it wasn’t as chaotic as I was used to, but it would get very busy as the morning went on. I was thrilled.
As I loaded up my car with all the fixings — an egg frittata, turkey sausage, cornbread, and roasted potatoes, I got nervous. It dawned on me that maybe I should have told friends where I was going. I mean, I had no idea what I was walking into! But, with a lot of faith, I drove to their house up north.
I knew I’d be okay when I pulled up and Tony came running out of the house to greet me in a red Santa sweater, excitedly saying, “How can I help?” When I walked in, the table was set with beautiful placemats and plates and a giant poinsettia in the corner.
Tony said, “There’s Patty.” We hugged for the first time, and then hustled around to get everything together before the food got cold. I put a framed photo of my sister on the table so she would be with us. Patty introduced me to her mother. “I hope you don’t mind.” “Of course not!” More hugs.
When it came time to eat, I quietly went into the living room. Tony asked me, “Why are you in there? Come join us! You are a part of our family.”
He led the prayer because I would have started crying if I had to. Then, Patty’s sister-in-law and stepson arrived. “Do you know that lady?” the stepson asked. Patty smiled. “Not until she walked into the house.” He couldn’t believe a stranger was here to cook for them. But I wasn’t a stranger after that.
They were of Hispanic descent; I was Italian. The cookies and customs were so close.
Tony washed the dishes as we visited long into the afternoon. They even gave me a gift — a beautiful Christmas candle and a card. I still have it.
Eventually, our time came to an end. I hadn’t had time to be sad all day. I was smiling for days afterward.
In June, Tony and Patty invited me to their wedding. She made sure to seat me with her mother. I was introduced to many people who wanted to say hello to the stranger who delivered breakfast on Christmas morning.
That year, I received the best Christmas gift ever: a chance to make a difference in their lives and mine.
So this holiday, is there one little thing YOU can do to share with someone else? It doesn’t have to be big.
Thank you, Wendi.
(Note: Deborah is a LifeSpark Reiki practitioner living in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. She is a regular contributor for our LifeSpark blog.)
